Contemplating going to a club with a toilet plunger in my trousers

[Sparky]

As a 5”7 manlet, I am no stranger to loitering in the void of obscurity. A few weeks ago I went clubbing for the first time and had to watch as all the girls flocked to the 6”2+ Chads whilst I watched in the shadows. But what could I expect as an incel? I tried to stand on my tiptoes to emulate the effects of shoe lifts but to no avail, I still didn’t stand out enough compared to the 6”2 turbochads. All it did was hurt my feet and hurt my heart. After that night I began to cogitate. I needed an equaliser. The inches that I lacked in height needed to be made up elsewhere. Enter the toilet plunger. Women are known to gossip incessantly when word spreads around about a man being well endowed. Heck part of the appeal of being tall is the saying “big feet, big socks.” This toilet plunger may be a way out of my despair.

This toilet plunger will create an artificial sex symbol in me when stuffed in my trousers. Hopefully women will forget about my flaws and their eyes shall go straight to the mighty bulge and they shall be halo’d by it. The looks of disgust shall be transformed into looks of salaciousness.

I will attempt to find the most conspicuous place in the nightclub, might even be the case that I will have to stand on the bar. Within a few seconds the 6”2 Chads will be invisible and all eyes shall be on me. The toilet plunger shall be like the beak of a Brobdingnagian toucan rising from the canopy. Hopefully girls will at least admire the low inhibition when they find out that it’s just a plunger. But the validation of getting attention from prime women should be sufficient enough to send me to a whirlwind of euphoria.

[JovanD]

This is the type of quality original content i signed up for
Be sure to post pics if you ever decide to go trough with it.

[Anon313]

Solid plan OP.

[wincel]

they'll recognize that it's fake lol

[Sparky]

they'll recognize that it's fake lol

This is why I have to chose the optimum size for the toilet plunger. I want something that is large enough to be conspicuous but not so large that’s they instantly catch on its fake. 10-11 inches should be a believable size

[Earthbound]

[wincel]

they'll recognize that it's fake lol

This is why I have to chose the optimum size for the toilet plunger. I want something that is large enough to be conspicuous but not so large that’s they instantly catch on its fake. 10-11 inches should be a believable size

10-11 inches is literally like 99.99999th percentile dick. Nobody would believe that. Also, people would laugh at you supposedly walking around with an erection the entire time. You'd probably be better off stuffing a small handkerchief wad or something down there lol.

[Zielony4]

Lol damn. I need to try this.

[Sparky]

they'll recognize that it's fake lol

This is why I have to chose the optimum size for the toilet plunger. I want something that is large enough to be conspicuous but not so large that’s they instantly catch on its fake. 10-11 inches should be a believable size

10-11 inches is literally like 99.99999th percentile dick. Nobody would believe that. Also, people would laugh at you supposedly walking around with an erection the entire time. You'd probably be better off stuffing a small handkerchief wad or something down there lol.

Yeah just checked and you’re right, 10 inch is extremely rare. Like 1 in a billion 

I also found that 9 inch is like one in 2.8 million. Whilst this is still very rare, it is believable enough so I might go with 9 inches.

[existentialhack]

they'll recognize that it's fake lol

This is why I have to chose the optimum size for the toilet plunger. I want something that is large enough to be conspicuous but not so large that’s they instantly catch on its fake. 10-11 inches should be a believable size

10-11 inches is literally like 99.99999th percentile dick. Nobody would believe that. Also, people would laugh at you supposedly walking around with an erection the entire time. You'd probably be better off stuffing a small handkerchief wad or something down there lol.

Yeah just checked and you’re right, 10 inch is extremely rare. Like 1 in a billion 

I also found that 9 inch is like one in 2.8 million. Whilst this is still very rare, it is believable enough so I might go with 9 inches.



Uh, erect, right? WTF would you have an omni-boner in a club? And WTF wouldn't you get thrown out for having an omni-boner in a club? If you're really tragic enough to do this, you can get flaccid dildos. eg https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=2288  Femoids don't care about dick size unless a decent face is attached. Halo Effect rules apply.

[Sparky]

Clubs are usually dark so whilst face matters, it won’t matter as much.

[incelman]

As a 5”7 manlet, I am no stranger to loitering in the void of obscurity. A few weeks ago I went clubbing for the first time and had to watch as all the girls flocked to the 6”2+ Chads whilst I watched in the shadows. But what could I expect as an incel? I tried to stand on my tiptoes to emulate the effects of shoe lifts but to no avail, I still didn’t stand out enough compared to the 6”2 turbochads. All it did was hurt my feet and hurt my heart. After that night I began to cogitate. I needed an equaliser. The inches that I lacked in height needed to be made up elsewhere. Enter the toilet plunger. Women are known to gossip incessantly when word spreads around about a man being well endowed. Heck part of the appeal of being tall is the saying “big feet, big socks.” This toilet plunger may be a way out of my despair.

This toilet plunger will create an artificial sex symbol in me when stuffed in my trousers. Hopefully women will forget about my flaws and their eyes shall go straight to the mighty bulge and they shall be halo’d by it. The looks of disgust shall be transformed into looks of salaciousness.

I will attempt to find the most conspicuous place in the nightclub, might even be the case that I will have to stand on the bar. Within a few seconds the 6”2 Chads will be invisible and all eyes shall be on me. The toilet plunger shall be like the beak of a Brobdingnagian toucan rising from the canopy. Hopefully girls will at least admire the low inhibition when they find out that it’s just a plunger. But the validation of getting attention from prime women should be sufficient enough to send me to a whirlwind of euphoria.

Dick size matters ONLY if you cut it lookswise

[Sparky]

It will at least garner attention as the bulge will be highly conspicuous

[mental_out]

I want you to do this and them write about it here

[Sparky]

I want you to do this and them write about it here

I’ll try it when I go clubbing next. The only thing I’m worried about is the bouncers as they tend to sometimes pat you down before entering a club. It will need to be somewhere with a more lenient door policy

[GeneticFilth]

Legit post. Popeye's forearm moggers, 4 inch shoe lift, plunger attached to your dick, and funkybod are the bare minimum to go outside now.